GRIEVING

I've found these stages of GRIEVING SO FAR.

SHOCK: Even though we've been preparing for this for 27 years, when it happens it is still a complete shock. Every time Kimmi went in for surgery, especially this past year, we knew it could be her last. But, the complete shock was still there. You can never prepare for this!

DISBELIEF: Even when the doctors told us that she coded for 15 minutes; Even when we first saw her; Even when the MRI showed damage; even when the brain scan showed no life, Even when they told us she was brain dead; Even when we took her home to her bed and watched her breathe her last beautiful breath and go into the arms of Jesus; EVEN THEN, WE STILL DIDN'T BELIEVE! It just wasn't possible. Even when we buried her precious body, we still couldn't believe we'd never see her in this life again.

ACCEPTANCE: Ok, we accept her passing. we know her body is dead, but her spirit is with Jesus. That is about the only thing that we have to keep us going; to keep us sane. That is the only thing that helps us accept her death. But, it hurts more than anything ever hurt before. There are giant holes in our hearts and we don't know how to fix it.

WHY GOD, WHY?: What did we do to cause You to take her from us? What did Kimmi do? Why did she have to leave us so suddenly and so soon? Why didn't You heal her? How could You take her away from us, and tear our hearts out like that? Why God, Why?

YOUR WORD: I don't know what we'd do without Your Word! I don't know how a non-believer could ever survive such a trajedy believing they will never see their loved one again; believing their loved one is just dead - that's all, no afterlife. Even though we don't understand, we trust You and Your Word. You said that Your ways are not our ways. You see the BIG Picture while we see the tiniest fraction of it. When Jesus was about to die, he cried out, "Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken away from Me, yet, not as I will, but as You will." Matt 26:39. In Isaiah55:8, the Lord said, "My ways are not your ways."

TRUST: Lord, help us to understand your ways so this cup will flee from us; so this pain will go away. Help us to understand Your will so we can fully accept losing her in this life. I don't understand, BUT I TRUST YOU. Although we are in pain, our baby girl feels no more pain, no more suffering, no more sickness, no more sorrow. She is completely happy in the arms of Jesus, enjoying Your love for all eternity. If it wasn't for Your Word and knowing that Kimmi is with you right now, we'd never be able to drink from this cup. Lord, we love You and we trust You. Thank You for allowing us the pure pleasure of enjoying this special GIFT from You. Thank you for loving us so much, that You gave us this most precious little angel from heaven, even if only for a short while. You blessed us beyond imagination.