My daughter-in-law jokingly says, "I just love this" or "I just love that" referring to things she likes at the time. but, I JUST LOVE MY BABY GIRL, KIMMI! Even though her body is dead and her spirit now lives with Jesus, she is still my Baby Girl. These are just a few of the things I just loved about her:
-- I just loved her cute little pug nose.
-- I just loved her beautiful smile. I may be prejudiced, but she had the cutest, most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Her smile just lit up the room and melted my heart.
-- I just loved her small frame. At only 4'5" and 75 lbs., this girl sure could carry herself.
-- I just loved her orneryness (she got it from me). She was usually the instigator when her and her friends got into something, and she'd work it out to the tiniest detail. Then, she would be so proud of herself when done, and have that gorgeous smile.
-- I just loved her stubbornness. I've never known anyone to out-stubborn her. Losing to her was frustrating, but fun, and oh so predictable!
-- I just loved her strength. Kimmi took everything thrown at her in stride. Even when she knew she was dying, she never felt sorry for herself. She never gave up hope, but kept fighting. But, most of all, she kept her real condition from us so we wouldn't worry. She privately suffered while putting on a show of normalcy for us. 50-plus surgeries, countless hospital stays - many in the ICU and being sick so much of her life couldn't break her spirit.
-- I just loved her gentle spirit. She so loved babies and little ones. Always bringing home, or wanting to, a kitten or puppy. She really wanted a baby, but knew she couldn't. But, she surely loved to babysit.
-- I just loved her taste in clothes. She'd come home with some of the strangest bras and undies. we'd get such a good laugh sometimes.
-- I just loved her love. She loved everybody, including the unloved.
-- I just loved her work ethic. Sick all her life, she worked as much as she could to buy her own car and pay her own insurance. When no longer able to work a "real job" she still babysat or did anything she could. At home, she always tried to do her part, even if it left her totally exhausted after only minutes.
-- I just loved to watch her sleep. So peacefully! Sometimes, I worried that she wasn't breathing.
-- I just loved her driving abilities while I hung on for dear life!
-- I just loved kissing her on the forehead and telling her I loved her. Especially this.
-- I just loved how good we felt when she'd come home, because I always worried when she was gone.
-- I just loved to watch her dress up to go out. She was so very beautiful.
-- I just loved being loved by her. As much as she wanted a normal life, she always appreciated her home and her parents. She gave more love than she ever got.
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I just loved this post, Bob! Nicely done. Looking forward to seeing you in just over a week. I just love our family time together...although the dinner conversations may lack a little spunk now without Kimmi. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears, now. I was doing a google search for others blogging about Cystinosis when I came across your blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm so incredibly sorry for your loss of sweet Kimmi. She was such a beautiful person, both inside and out. She is your angel, now.
I have a 14 year old son who was diagnosed as an infant with Cystinosis and Fanconi's Syndrome, failure to thrive, rickets. Well, you know the ordeal.
He had a kidney transplant in December of 2006, and is doing well. I still worry, though.
Two months after Koby's transplant, we lost my step-son to suicide. It was completely unexpected.
He was living with his Mom in Texas at the time . . . 1,500 miles away. Each time we talked on the phone, he seemed so upbeat and positive.
I know the guilt your feeling. I know the "if onlys," the "I should haves," the meticulous beating yourself up over things you should have done to save them. It's not your fault. Please know this.
Kimmi is feeling no pain. She suffers no more. She is smiling down on you from Heaven and will always be your angel.
Hugs,
Angela
http://momsgreatescape.blogspot.com/